Daily Archives: February 15, 2009

A Day In The Life Of A Dead Guy

colemand-portraitHello.

Thought you all might want to see an actual picture of me, and would like to know how I’m doing.  Klinderas thinks that it’s another great PR move.

He’s normally wrong.  He’s got his head stuffed so far in Azjol Nerub that he couldn’t see his feet if he tried.

Or his Chimaera… Hmmm, clay-bake, marinate in vinegar and sweet white wine… those sound like good ribs…

Now, as far as how I’m doing.

Outlands.  They suck.  There is nothing interesting, all that remains is dust.  And it taste like crap.

Fel orcs.  An important source of Iron.

Fel orcs. An important source of Iron.

As I have mentioned before, Fel Orcs don’t taste that bad, actually.  The stronger they are, the leaner they are, the more meat there is.  So, for the first few hours of being in Outlands, I gorged myself on them and their experience.  Turns out I had gotten rid of some menaces around Spinebreaker post that needed getting rid of.  And killed some idiot with an eyepatch.  Who the heck did he say he was? Grilled Orc?  Tasted like it anyway.

...You can eat stuff that doesn't exist?

...You can eat stuff that doesn't exist?

Another important part of the menu… Ghosts.  Apparently, you can eat what doesn’t exist.  Turns out it’s good for you too! I discovered it’s a great source of vitamin C.  Keeps my teeth in their gums.  As a bonus, they taste like gummy candies… jube jubes?  The red ones, anyway.

Ground in Outlands is not solid.

Remember: Ground in Outlands is not solid.

Fel Reavers? Klinderas told me stories.  Of how they screeched and screamed when anyone came near, and stomped him flat once.  Only once? Lies.  Your pasty ass probably got smacked through Outland at least 20 times.

In any case, this one stomped someone a bit too flat.  He’s literally stuck in the ground.  Not too hard to avoid… I honestly don’t see how they killed Klinderas.  Maybe they lost their sneak ability they learned from the Devilsaurs.

Demons + Cooking = Bad

Demons + Cooking = Bad

This was my first attempt to cook a demon.  Now, seeing as they are Fel in nature, this gives them an incredibly bitter taste to begin with.  So, I tried adding the ingredient which makes gnomes so sweet: arcane magic.

What I got was this.  Like sticking a pebble in Dwarvish Bubbly water, stuff goes everywhere.  The demon was nowhere to be found.

Maybe I cooked it at too high a temperature? It’s hard to tell when you cook using magic.

Note to self: Cook using fire.  Demons blow up.  Armor is hard to clean.

As a side note, I made a new friend today.  He doesn’t talk at all, but he has the same taste in food I do.

Everyone, meet Mike.

He likes to sleep in my kneecap.

He likes to sleep in my kneecap.

Mike and I met in Undercity.

Since then, we’ve been inseparable.

He flies as quickly as a horse!

Which is astounding.  How can he fly that quickly with wings like that?

Also, he never seems to die.  I’ve stepped on him a few times already, but he just keeps popping back up.  At this point, I think I’ve become quite attached.

So, on that note, It’s time I hit the proverbial hay.  Maybe next time, Kinderas will get off his fat rear and actually write something of importance.

If there is one things Blood Elves do properly, it's bedding.  Coffins just aren't the same.

If there is one things Blood Elves do properly, it's bedding. Coffins just aren't the same.