The Details Of The Dastardly Dueg

conquer_the_world_by_dawn42It was a huge mistake.

You see, I put Dueg, from Holy Dueg! on my sidebar.  This is a huge, huge mistake.

You see, by putting Dueg on my sidebar… I have given him the keys to the world.

How?

It’s simple.  You see, by putting Dueg on my sidebar, I accepted him into my pack.  As a result, more people will view his website.  The amount of visits he will get will now be bumped beyond the mark… the mark that held his notorious scheme in check.

Now with a larger viewer-base, Dueg will become more and more popular.  This will start and avalanche, eventually creating the second largest, foaming-at-the-mouth legion of readers.  Dueg will rival BRK in power.

Once that happens, using his priestly ways, he will sway BRK to help him form the D+DWWA(Dueg and Dan World-Wide Amalgamated).  This massive coalition of blogs will have the power to sway even Blizzard.

Blizzard, understandably being miffed as being used as a puppet, asks the group to disband.  BRK, being the good dwarf he is, will drop out liked Blizzard asked.  Dueg, however, will not.

With the skills of Rilgon, Dueg will create a large mother-computer, and will sell its use to multiple countries around the world.  Due to Dueg’s new slogan of “Win Through Compromise,” Dueg will cause the world to be indebted to him.  Much like the Godfather, people will owe him a “service.”  Most people do not see what is coming.

Ghostcrawler becomes one such man.  Dueg will ask Ghostcrawler to hand Dueg the reins to the creative development department, and Ghostcrawler will have to make a choice he cannot refuse.  Once Dueg maintains control over the balance of the game, he will create unique abilities for himself that will boost his already mighty power(denoted by the monocle) to an all-time high.  He will be as a god.

At this time, using his new power, Dueg will “succeed” the Head of Blizzard, and will bathe in money.  With the new riches at his disposal, he will create an underground, elite army named the Duegles.

After a period of 2 years, Dueg will have enough military might to take over Canada.  However, he didn’t count on one thing: The HATED(Hunters Against Tyranny, Evil, and Dueg).  Led by people such as BRK and Professor Pike, this new insurgent group will conduct a guerilla war on the Duegles for years.  Ground is neither lost, or won, as the combatants just do a corpse run.

Rilgon is Commander General of the Duegles at this point, but he does not like what he sees.  He had been promised buffs, but all he got was nerfs and serious mana-shortage.  Rilgon begins to amass a number of followers to defect to the HATED side.  Among his number are Anea, Faulsey, and Harii.  Together, they make a break for it, and attempt to defect.  But the Dueg is no fool: he captures Anea before she can escape.

The HATED readily welcome the defectees, and the forces of the HATED are re-moralized.  The battle is far from over.  RIlgon creates new weapons, gadgets, and bombs for the group, granting them unprecedented fighting ability.

At long last, a coup is staged.  The fight goes deep into Castle of Dueg, and at the bottom, they find… Klinderas.  Klin has been cpatured and silenced the entire time in order to stop him from predicting what is happening and telling others about it.

In any case, Klin will be freed, and with his help, the forces of HATED smash their way into the uppermost tower.  Dueg immediatly casts holy nova, with a unique pushback effect.  The forces of HATED are sent sprawling as Dueg runs away to the upper-uppermost tower.

Since Klin was lucky and resisted the attack, Klin runs up the stairs to chase Dueg.  When Klin sees him, Dueg is holding Anea  over the edge of the tower railing.

With a cackle and a laugh, he drops poor Anea over the edge.  He then twizzles his ‘stache.

But, unbeknownst to him, Cadistra catches the falling Anea with her bird form.  Cadistra drops Anea off at the bottom of the castle, to tend to the wounded, and begins to return to the upper-uppermost tower.

In the meantime, there will be an epic fight between myself and Dueg.  Unfortunately, it’s obvious he’s OP, and he has Klin’s back against the wall.  Preparing his last Uber-Smite spell, he laughs maniacly.  All of a sudden, he is crushed by a moose.  The last word he says is “Curses!”

A huge party is held, and the HATED disband.  The world returns to normal.  I get 6000 gold for my help, giving me my damn epic flight training!

Everyone gets 75000 honour and for their trouble, and Dueg does a corpse run.

Either that or nothing happens at all.

Just a suggestion.

16 responses to “The Details Of The Dastardly Dueg

  1. Ah ha ha, oh, your joke is quite hilarious and your post is funny. So funny, I will pay you 6000 gold to take it down and give it to me, ah ha ha, ah ha. So droll.

  2. … Are you serious?

    For 6000 gold, I’d kill a Klondike bar.

  3. …this is the most amusing thing you have ever written.
    I hope you know, for it is too tempting, I’m either making this into a comic or a movie.
    Yes, no, maybe so?
    You’d be even more fabulous than before!

  4. I better get some of the cuts!

    And I want that no-good, floor-flushing Orlando Bloom out of it!

  5. The mind boggles at the depths of genius/depravity in your mind, good Klinderas.

  6. Wow, I’ve been conscripted into an army without even knowing about it!
    I feel like I’m in the USA! =D
    Cadistra will always fight the good fight to end this ‘Holy’ man’s evil scheme.
    /salute

  7. ‘Details of the Dastardly Deug’ – I like that title >D /cheer & encore. Hope there’s a part two of this post in the future where Dueg plots his revenge with mini-moustached Deugys to take over the Blizz corporation.

    ‘Resistance is Futile!!’ says the mass of mini-Duegs in sync.

  8. Mini… Duegs?..

    Oh my…hehe…

    hehehehehehehe…

    /flourish

  9. lol this was an amusing read! As long as Dueg doesn’t learn that mage spell…that multiplies him…

    Snugglekins casts Tranquilizing shot! Go Fuzzball, Go! XD

  10. I’ll offer the services of the Lodge to help provide reinforcements, a place to hide and anything else you might need. For we all must join together to overcome this dastardly foe!!

  11. Deug may have a monocle, but I have goggles. Plus, I can MAKE monocles. I AM the one that gives him his power, and just like that *snaps* I can take it all away!

    FLEE, MORTALS, BEFORE THE WRATH OF THE GEARMASTER! *throws Saronite Bombs*

  12. I don’t know what that priest has in mind for my demise (he’s already tried to have me train-wrecked) but Cadistra has come to my rescue again! (On As a bird, nonetheless!)

    I will celebrate by healing the wounded while sparking. That’s right. Sparking. One of my powers.

  13. Yeah, see what you went and did? I’m sure all the perfectly respectable and exceedingly puffy druids are going to end up as polo ponies or something.

    /puff

  14. Pingback: Points « Holy Discipline

  15. Hahaha I love how it went from taking over the blogosphere to taking over Blizzard and then Canada. :D

  16. Pingback: Points | Anea

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