Ah, welcome to my lair.
Cliched? Maybe. Worth it? Absolutely.
In any case, welcome back to the Ask Colemand show! I am your host, Colemand, and I will be taking questions asked to me by you! I got these questions through e-mail, comments, twitter, and from my search terms. We only have time for three today, so let’s get started.
From Sarai, via comments: Colemand, my undead warlock would like to know if you have any gnome recipes to share. He’s still looking for the perfect way to cook them.
Well Sarai, thanks for asking. Your warlock friend will be pleased to note that yes, I have invented quite a few recipes. My favourite is still Gnome Magepie, but I have already said how to cook it. So, I will do another favourite of mine: Gnome-side Sweet ribs.
First, you take a gnomes ribs. When you have them, let them thaw if they were frozen. If not, put them in a clay-bake, which is a semi-large container made of clay. You’re going to put in soda, preferably the one made by the guy named Coca, but Pepsi’s works too. It’s just more syrupy, which I don’t need.
So, you put the ribs in a clay-bake full of soda, add veggies like squash, carrots, leaks, onions, or anything else you want baked with the ribs. Put this in an oven at around 250 degrees for about 3 hours. Once it’s cooked, serve on a plate with the veggies, alongside rice. Add barbecue sauce. The taste should be delicious.
Which brings me to my next question.
Via Search Engine Term: Bunny, your flavour hurts me.
Well, that’s odd. Like gnomes, bunnies are delicious tasting in every way, when cooked properly. They’re small and full of energy, granting them a sweet, but dark taste due to them living in the wilds.
You can cook Bunny ribs the same way I cook gnome ribs, or you can try to do the same with an entire rabbit! There isn’t a lot of meat though… I normally just cook gnomes.
Unless there’s a Gnome sized bunny. Like this one.
Via Search Engine Term: Klinderas University?
Well, he wishes. He’d be filthy rich. I’d be able to mooch off of him, or teach the cooking program. But him being a dean?
That’s a scary thought people. Lets not go there.
Besides, what would he teach? How to be “fabulous?” Lets face it, his definition fo fabulous is being him. I think one Klinderas is enough. I think one wolf is enough to be honest, those things are a menace. Cost and arm and a leg too, literally…
Okay, we have some extra time. I’ll answer one more question.
Apatuaq, via Twitter: How do you get rid of a human warrior?
Well, this is simple really, although it depends on what race you are. If you’re Forsaken, I suggest that only an expert cook attempt to eat this human warrior. They are tough, and stringy. But like a good steak, when cooked properly, it should be fine. The best meat is in the rump.
For everyone else too chicken to try eating humans, there is something else that will work. Kill the bastard, and notify me right away. I’ll be happy to make him… disappear.
Lastly, you could try speaking l33t to him. Talking l33t immediately alienates you form everyone, and should get anyone to stop following you. If you don’t know how to, I suggest talking like you did when you were new to the World. Misspell everything, and speak with a total lack of grammar. Once you know how to do this, it’s much like riding a bike. You will never forget how to speak it. EVER.
Well, that’s all the time we have today. Thank you for coming, and don’t forget to ask questions! It’s how we learn.