Paladins Can Still Be Cockroaches

Paladin that doesn't buff.

Paladin that doesn't buff.

Hey paladins! You’re on notice.

Earlier today, I raided a 25 man Obsidian Sanctum.  It started off great… walked about 25 feet before being asked to come and help.

So, I fly there, and summon some people, and walk in.  Fresh new instance, fresh new place.

“Alright everyone, buff up.”

I pipe up.  “Hey! Can I get Might and Kings please for my pet and myself?”

Poof.  Sanctuary and Wisdom.  Sanctuary?! Isn’t that the tanking blessing?

“Um, I have Wisdom and Sanctuary, can I have might and kings for me and my pet please?”

Nothing.  There are two paladins.

“My pet is a big cuddly dinosaur! He likes buffs!”

Finally! Another Poof! Kings!.. and Sanctuary.

I look at the buffs to determine who needs to buff me properly, and I ask again.

“Hey, can you please buff me with Might and my pet with might as well please?”

He responds eloquently with something along the lines of “Less QQ, More Pew Pew.”

Are you serious? Well are you? Do you understand what you are, and how you affect my “pew pew” you degenerate, ungenerous, flatfooted, flat faced, flat nosed, no good, no use, no point, hopeless, brainless sack of shoveltusk toss-up? Do you not understand how important it is that you buff me properly?

Let me put it in a few easy, simple to understand terms: you are a paladin.  Specifically, a holy paladin.  Your job is to heal, yes? Now see, you not buffing me is like me being a mage, see? and being a mage, I don’t put arcane intellect on you, see? Or better yet, casting dampen magic on your heal target, see? It’s not game breaking; but it’s sure as hell annoying and improper dontchathink?

Let me explain what you’re doing.  You are failing to buff me with 550 attack power, which is a lot of attack power.  You are also failing to provide my now angry and ornery t-rex with the same 550 attack power(1 100 AP for those of you counting!).  This is a player who, until now, is fairly calm; but when you say “less QQ more Pewpew you’re DPS your job isn’t hard just pewpew lewl” and then not buff me for the only gods-be-damned job I have in this miserable raid, I get a little ticked.

Just a little.

Here you are, Mr. Paladunce, with some of the most powerful buffs in the game.  Without them, everyone else does worse.  You play a class that buffs people and is meant to be a help to others.  You are meant to buff me, as that is one of your roles.  My role is to not die and to do damage.  Yours is to buff and heal.  Please remember the buff part, ’cause the important bit is coming up.

YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG.

I can’t PEWPEW unless you buff me.  You fail to buff me.  I QQ to get a buff.  You fail to buff me.

It’s a good thing I can’t do this to you right now, or I might have been arrested.

RAGE.

RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Paladins, do your part.  It’s not hard.  Just understand the underlying principal mentioned forthwith.

BUFF ME AND MY DAMN PET PROPERLY OR I WILL QQ UNTIL YOUR EARS BLEED.

Thank you.

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14 comments

  1. As a paladin, I support this message.

    Paladins not using blessings properly is a huge sign of a n00b, to put it blatantly, and I probably would have kicked the person, especially if it was a pug.

    Also, if you had sanctuary, it wasn’t the holy pally giving it to you, since that’s too far down the protection tree for any spec but prot to pick up.

    If you want to do your part, spread the message of Pally Power. It makes handling blessings extremely easy, and even if you’re not a paladin, you can still use it to assign blessings for all those pallies in the raid.

  2. I’ve been asked to give BoW to hunters before, but it really depended on their spec and how often they had to go into Viper.

    The bottom line of course, is that in most cases the other players (of any class) know what buffs they need better than I do. If they ask me for Might, Wisdom, or whatever, I assume they know what they’re doing and pony up the buff.

    Well except for that one rogue back in my Kara raiding days who would be at the top of omen after his first crit if I gave him BoM. He got threat reduction or nothing so I wouldn’t have to rez him after every fight.

  3. Caption for pic:

    RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. I had various experiences with paladins.

    With my first raiding guild, the one I founded with the friends I run Kara with, we had two prot pallies and one holy, and I never had to ask for blessing, they were always up, the right one, on me AND my pet. We disbanded a few months ago and I miss then so much…

    With my second guild, I had to cry for blessings after every single wipe… Litterally. I’d cried, I’d threatened… And when eventually, I got my blessing, I had to do it all again for my pet… I moved away, even if I had good friends there, I was going nowhere.

    Now I’m in a “hardcore raiding” guilde. Paladins aren’t noobs or they’d not been in this guild. I don’t even need to check my blessings usually and if one is forgotten, I will get it right away if asking.

    Conclusion : friends and/or good pallies buff you and your pet. The others, its random.

    I nevern encounter pallies like yours though, calling me noob for asking for different blessings… But I know it exist.

  5. This probably wasn’t their intention but I know in my guild if we only have two Paladins we typically buff Kings (everyone should have Kings!) and Sanc first (for the 3% damage reduction). The thinking is if no one has improved Might, it’s just going to get overwritten by the next warrior battleshout, so might as well let that cover that. And wisdom can come from the Shaman totem, so that has less of a priority. So I can see the thinking behind Sanc going on you, but in all likelihood you probably had some jerky, lazy pallies.

  6. Christ Klin… that was the worst frickin’ OS 25 I have ever done.. not to mention my delicious random tank WTF when they had me tanking Sarth towards the end.Seriously wtf lagg + dodging but getting hit by lava waves anyways then ending up on the other side of the map = ??? (WTB new comp PST… less lagg = moar win)

    Either way, yah those Pallys got a face palm from me =D

  7. “I NEED WISDOM.”
    “We gave you wisdom.”
    “I DON’T HAVE IT.”
    “The shaman totem overwrote it.”
    “I NEED WISDOM.”
    “NO YOU DON’T.”

    …sometimes, the life of a paladin is a vexing thing. But aside from situations like that, which cause my sweet ltitle self to turn homicidal-there is this little add on? Called pally power? That most smart pallys use? …yeah that makes it really easy, so there’s no excuse. If there IS some reason why they’ve given everyone kings and sanct, they should be able to tell you why.

  8. *Blessing off Salvation appears on toon*
    *Neg clicks it off*
    *Blessing of Salvation appears on toon*
    *Neg clicks it off*
    *Blessing of Salvation appears on toon*
    *Neg clicks it off*
    “Who ever is giving hunters Salv, would you please stop?”
    “Then stop clicking it off!”

    /facepalm

  9. @Ashimbo
    Only prot pallies then, eh? Well, he never tanked. Or if he did, he was offtank and then did miserable DPS on the boss fights.

    Heck, we must have had 3 tanks that run… which is odd. Oh well! I’m just happy you weren’t too offended by me calling you guys cockroaches. 🙂

    @Splat
    Now see, that’s what I expect. If you don’t buff me automatically, then at least buff me when I ask, so that I don’t have to have a conniption fit.

    @Anea
    Fix’t.

    @Nefernet
    That’s been my experience as well. I nearly cried when my guild did the 10 man version after and our pallies buffed perfectly.

    @Rhidach
    See, I could understand that for my pet; but I’m at 30 yards away more often than not and am usually out of range of shout. Not always, but so often that if I don’t see might on me I begin to worry.

    @Eldadres
    Don’t worry man, it was a bad day. You’re a great tank!

    @Kordwar
    Really? As a beastmaster, I usually like Might more since I don’t get the AP bonuses you do. For a survivalist, I’d agree; however, for anything else I think that Might is first, then kings.

    @Ambrosyne
    If I sounded like that, then I’m a noob tard.

    However, there weren’t any warriors to my recollection giving me shout, so I think I was clear on that front.

    They gave no reason. Just “less QQ”. Here, I’ll give you a reason to QQ!!

    @Negathle
    For those times when words just aren’t enough to describe how stupid that was.

  10. @Klin Well, it is possible that it was a holy pally that picked it up, but they would have had to forgo bacon of light to get it, so its extremely unlikely. And no worries about the cockroaches =) I’ve gotten used to it from BRK.

  11. For hunters it should always go: Kings, Might, wisdom, sanc. No excuses, nothing.

    Eh… Depends on a whole lot of things, mon ami 😛

  12. You do realise that Battle Shout from a warrior gives the same buff as Blessing of Might? Perhaps the paladin had agreed with the dps warrior in the raid, that the warrior would do battleshout, leaving the paladin the opportunity to use one of his other blessings on you.

    Obviously BoWisdom would be much more useful then BoSanc as your second pally blessing though.

    There can be lots of splash AoE damage in OS if you’re doing it with drakes up so i could just about understand sanctuary for the reduced damage taken.

    And unless things have changed, when the warriors get a greater blessing, all pets get the same blessing too?

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