Hey paladins! You’re on notice.
Earlier today, I raided a 25 man Obsidian Sanctum. It started off great… walked about 25 feet before being asked to come and help.
So, I fly there, and summon some people, and walk in. Fresh new instance, fresh new place.
“Alright everyone, buff up.”
I pipe up. “Hey! Can I get Might and Kings please for my pet and myself?”
Poof. Sanctuary and Wisdom. Sanctuary?! Isn’t that the tanking blessing?
“Um, I have Wisdom and Sanctuary, can I have might and kings for me and my pet please?”
Nothing. There are two paladins.
“My pet is a big cuddly dinosaur! He likes buffs!”
Finally! Another Poof! Kings!.. and Sanctuary.
I look at the buffs to determine who needs to buff me properly, and I ask again.
“Hey, can you please buff me with Might and my pet with might as well please?”
He responds eloquently with something along the lines of “Less QQ, More Pew Pew.”
Are you serious? Well are you? Do you understand what you are, and how you affect my “pew pew” you degenerate, ungenerous, flatfooted, flat faced, flat nosed, no good, no use, no point, hopeless, brainless sack of shoveltusk toss-up? Do you not understand how important it is that you buff me properly?
Let me put it in a few easy, simple to understand terms: you are a paladin. Specifically, a holy paladin. Your job is to heal, yes? Now see, you not buffing me is like me being a mage, see? and being a mage, I don’t put arcane intellect on you, see? Or better yet, casting dampen magic on your heal target, see? It’s not game breaking; but it’s sure as hell annoying and improper dontchathink?
Let me explain what you’re doing. You are failing to buff me with 550 attack power, which is a lot of attack power. You are also failing to provide my now angry and ornery t-rex with the same 550 attack power(1 100 AP for those of you counting!). This is a player who, until now, is fairly calm; but when you say “less QQ more Pewpew you’re DPS your job isn’t hard just pewpew lewl” and then not buff me for the only gods-be-damned job I have in this miserable raid, I get a little ticked.
Just a little.
Here you are, Mr. Paladunce, with some of the most powerful buffs in the game. Without them, everyone else does worse. You play a class that buffs people and is meant to be a help to others. You are meant to buff me, as that is one of your roles. My role is to not die and to do damage. Yours is to buff and heal. Please remember the buff part, ’cause the important bit is coming up.
YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG.
I can’t PEWPEW unless you buff me. You fail to buff me. I QQ to get a buff. You fail to buff me.
It’s a good thing I can’t do this to you right now, or I might have been arrested.
Paladins, do your part. It’s not hard. Just understand the underlying principal mentioned forthwith.
BUFF ME AND MY DAMN PET PROPERLY OR I WILL QQ UNTIL YOUR EARS BLEED.